Bipolar..... the unknown

Bipolar is just not depression and mania,  There are other parts bipolar disorder...In earlier posts I went into depth about Bipolar and Depression.  Bipolar has some unknown issues that I’m going to discuss. These are things not normally thought of when you think of Bipolar. I went into detail earlier about Bipolar and depression so you have a basic understanding Bipolar. Now we are going deeper into the other aspects of Bipolar,
What is psychosis?
Many think your being spied upon, followed, or plotted against. An example of this is believing that people can read your mind, or the belief that no one likes you, or a group you’d normally consider friends suddenly don't like you and are lying behind your back. This may involve unrealistic thoughts or unstable thoughts that someone you care about has suddenly changed and doesn’t want to be near you. It is almost impossible to talk someone out about these beliefs unless it is cg them for what they really are. Psychotic symptoms are marked my confusion, disorganized thoughts and often bizarre behavior. The following are the most common types of psychotic symptoms also caught extensively early.  Friends are usually the people who receive this paranoid behavior,and it’s very difficult to people with Bipolar experience psychotic symptoms. Psychosis is a break or loss of contact with reality. It shows itself in number of different ways. Some symptoms are intense and hard to ignore and easy to diagnose while others are subtle and harder to diagnose. You may have lived with these symptoms for years without recognizing  that they were just Bipolar symptoms.

Paranoid thoughts include unrealistic beliefs that others are trying to harm them or control you, a feeling that maintain friendships when people have to deal with someone who half the time doesn’t believe that they care for no reason at all.
What are hallucinations?
Hallucinations are defined as seeing, hearing or smelling things that's not really there. With auditory hallucinations you literally hear some one speaking to you with no one actually speaking. The voice experienced is a mere thought but experienced as if someone is speaking to them. It may be a familiar voice, someone she knows voice, or a strangers, or sound like even you own voice. It can be loud, harsh, critical and mean along with a bit scary. This is not just normal ‘’self talk’’.

This is another experience that when often disturbing and emotionally powerful thoughts appear to enter your mind. This is called thought intrusion. The thoughts have an intrusive quality, but there is no sense of ownership. The thoughts seem to come out of no where and aren’t experienced as a product your own mind. At times you may believe that a thought has been inserted into your mind by someone else such as the radio or via telepathy,

The main difference between the two is that auditory hallucinations are perceived as coming from outside of the body as a separate voice literally heard while insertions simply drop into the mind fully formed just as you would normally have a thought. With auditory hallucinations you may turn around to see the person talking to you. With insertions, you may wonder why on earth you’d have a thought bizarre and scary. One way to know the difference is whether the sentences use I or you. Auditory hallucinations use the from of you in the sentence while insertions use I.

*Examples of auditory hallucinations*

You should be dead. Take a gun and kill yourself,
Things would be better if you got cancer and died,
You should step off the curb in front of that bus.
Your life is one big fat mistake.
You’re a genius,
You hear a voice calling your name and you turn to see who it is.

*Examples of intrusive thoughts*

I want to die
I wish I could get cancer and trust die.
I wish someone would murder me.
I’m a fake and a failure.
I have no right to be here,
I’m the most beautiful/smartest person in the ruin.

As you can see auditory hallucinations and intrusive thoughts can be positive or negative but either way is always unrealistic and often very scary. These are the common types of ‘’hallucinations’’ dealt with on a reg basis. When psychotic they may expedience these more often. Other hallucinations they experiencing is a funny smell. It may be coming from them or another. The other and worse is a visual hallucinations. For instance seeing yourself hit by a car, bloody and on the windshield to ‘’wake-up’’ and realize your standing on the curb waiting to cross the street. This would definitely be scary, but these are rare compared to the auditory.
What I deal with....
As you know I have Bipolar and deal with the mania and depression but I also deal with psychosis. I hear my name called, sometimes which wakes me up from a dead sleep.  When things are bad I have horrible intrusive thoughts such as,'I should kill everyone and myself.'  Then I have terrifying thoughts in my that flash like a horror movie in my head usually including my dead family or my dead self.  It can be terrifying, then I see lots of spiders.  I know they aren't there but they still scare the crap out of my.  I've seen "demons with red eyes" in my closet.  I've smelled horrible smells when no one's around.  When these start to happen regularly I know that I need to have my medicine looked at and upped  or changed.  But even one a good dose of medicine I some times have some type of hallucination, they just aren't as often.

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