Chelsea Handler Drunken Tweets Part Two

Chelsea Handler Drunken Tweets Part Two
Well that didn't take long... just the other day we wrote Chelsea Handler Goes Off On A Drunken 2nd Amendment Rant. Since it's a holiday weekend and since she has no loved ones Chelsea has a lot of time to kill, so we are luckily enough to get a Chelsea Handler "two-for"

We haven't been able to confirm this, but the rumor is Chelsea Handler is celebrating Easter by starting her own tradition. Downing a few colt 45's and tweeting out drunken messages that have nothing to do with what you were tweeting about. Since she tweeted out a new incoherent tweet we are accepting that as confirmation of the rumor.

Of course, she got triggered by another one of President Trumps tweet.

Governor Jerry “Moonbeam” Brown pardoned 5 criminal illegal aliens whose crimes include (1) Kidnapping and Robbery (2) Badly beating wife and threatening a crime with intent to terrorize (3) Dealing drugs. Is this really what the great people of California want? @FoxNews

— Donald J. Trump (@realDonaldTrump) March 31, 2018


When Chelsea Handler sees a tweet from Donald Trump she feels as powerless to stop it as she does when a quart of Colt 45 malt liquor carelessly slips from her greasy fingers. The only thing she could do is let out a horrified scream.

As soon as the @realdonaldtrump tweet appears Chelsea shotguns a can of Olde English, to ease the pain of her burning dilated pupils. If only they could come up with a malt that would take care of the burning and itching she has "down under."

With half her fiery medical problems medicated, there is only one thing left to do, send out one of her patented Chelsea Handler Drunken tweet.

You know what we want? We want our police officers to stop killing innocent black men and then yell “stupid mother fucker,” at their lifeless body. Why don’t you tweet something about that? You are a racist, and you are most likely guilty of everything you just tweeted. https://t.co/48OqdiRptw

— Chelsea Handler (@chelseahandler) March 31, 2018
I am not sure what Moonbeam releasing some illegal immigrants has to do with the police shooting that ended with the unfortunate death of Stephon Clark, but that's drunken Chelsea for ya!

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