There's no autopilot when you live abroad. No taking life for granted. Hearing foreign words, navigating strange street signs, stumbling into cultural roadblocks - all provide a jolt of energy, sometimes positive and sometimes negative, depending on the experience. Here are 10 ways the expat life keeps you on your toes, based on interviews with expats around the world, as well as my own experience as an American living in Israel.
1. Language
Julie Ford, originally from Michigan, has been hopping back and forth between the U.S., England and Australia with her Aussie husband and three girls. Five years ago, they settled in Sydney for professional and family reasons. "I'm constantly aware of and on alert for cultural nuances," says the 55-year-old. "Oftentimes, the turn of phrase and pronunciation trip me up: 'Stay on the pavement' or 'Stick it in the boot' make no sense."
Here in Israel, most of my social life happens in English; my friends are British, South African, Australian, American and Canadian. Even though we speak the same language, sometimes we don't understand each other, like when the British want to form a roter (carpool), or the South African says she'll call just now, meaning later.
Hebrew is what I hear in the streets and speak in stores and restaurants and doctors' offices. But the place I pay most attention to it is in yoga class. If I detect an unfamiliar word, I ask the teacher, then repeat the word aloud for confirmation and pronunciation; when I teach yoga in my English-speaking studio, I use the word to embed it in my memory and to impress my students.
2. Holidays/calendarBorn-and-bred Californian Katie O'Grady relocated to Mexico almost three years ago with her husband and two kids. They live in the desert highlands of San Miguel de Allende, Guanajuato. The 47-year-old retired Spanish teacher writes and her husband works in alternative energy. "I've yet to fully master or remember all of the many different holidays," she says. "Recently, on my way to pick our twins up from school, I was stuck behind a major road blockade due to it being Día de Los Niños (Day of The Children).I was half an hour late, but got to see a great bicycle race and parade."
The French academic calendar drives 43-year-old American-born Sacha Lajer crazy. "Every six weeks, my kids have two weeks off from their Parisian school. We're compelled to go on vacation because everyone goes away, whether to their grandparents' country houses or elsewhere. If we stayed home, it would cost us just as much if not more, between going to a movie or out to dinner. It's like we work just to pay for each vacation," she says.
As for me, because the Jewish calendar is lunar, holidays never fall on the same day in Israel. As soon as someone mentions Rosh Hashanah or Passover, I Google the date so I can plan accordingly.
3. PeopleIsraelis are contrarians. If I'm dealing with bureaucracy or anything customer-service related, I psyche myself up for the fight and plot out the words I'll need to express myself.
Over time I've learned that Israelis are like the cactus fruit they're named after, sabras, which are known to be prickly on the outside, but once you penetrate beneath the outer layer, they're warm and welcoming and willing to do anything to help.
"I've been in Paris for 25 years and still the mentality throws me," says Ms. Lajer. "When I'm with Parisians, I steel myself for adversity, for someone to disagree, try to prove a point, make things difficult. Maybe they act like this because it's a big city and everyone's just trying to get by, or maybe because they're frustrated and fed up with the immigrant situation, making them cling tightly to what they have, their space, jobs, piece of the pie."
4. Societal/cultural normsDonald Quist, 30, originally of Washington, D.C., moved to Bangkok three years ago after searching for a place where he could support himself financially while committing more time to his writing profession. "Thailand is rife with societal norms, each one a learning curve," says Mr. Quist. "Radios, televisions, and mass transit loud speakers across the country play the national anthem two times a day; at 8 a.m. and 6 p.m., I stop what I'm doing, like everyone else, to show respect for my new home. After the horns and chorus fade, I receive thankful smiles and bows from strangers. At the movies, before every film, I stand during the montage honoring the King." Then there are gestures and movements, he adds. "I extend a hand to greet foreigners from the West but know it's less common when greeting" Thais. "When acknowledging someone important, like the president of my university, I remember to press my palms together and bow."
In Paris, Ms. Lajer says that after all these years, the brief pecks on the cheeks called les bises come naturally. When meeting friends or friends of friends, everyone leans in close, turns a cheek, kisses it, and switches cheeks, back and forth. "Sometimes it's two, or three, but usually four, and if you aren't sure, you just laugh and acknowledge it," she says.
5. School lifeMy husband and I attended our first Israeli parent-teacher conferences three months after our move to Raanana when our girls were in 7th and 9th grades. "Afo ha bat shelachem?" the math teacher asked about our daughter's whereabouts. Unbeknownst to us, in Israel, teachers prefer the kids to attend so they can address the students directly about how they're faring; students call teachers by their first names and are free to reach them at home by phone if they need help. The easy access and first-name basis made me and my American-born-and-raised children uncomfortable, but maybe we'll get used to it by the time they reach college.
During their nine-year stint in London, Ms. Ford's daughters attended a local English school, entering a world of boaters (straw hats) and gingham dresses, where rain never stopped the annual day for competition on the sporting field and they watched their kids run through inches of mud. "If we stopped a sports day for rain, we'd never have a sports day," the head master said.
6. Measurement and timeEven after all my years outside the U.S., I still think, speak and measure in pounds, cups, Fahrenheit and miles. Every time I cook, I translate between my German oven in Celsius and my American recipe. When the weather report announces a 34-degree day, the heat doesn't register. Until I learn the metric system, I suppose I'll constantly use my phone and computer to convert and guess when buying 200 grams of walnuts or 1 kilo of apples.
In Mexico, "my first few trips to the local butchers, I held my breath waiting to see what my two kilos of salchicha looked like. Fortunately, my family loves Mexican sausages and the four-plus pounds fit into our fridge and freezer," says Ms. O'Grady.
Telling time also requires mental calculations. In Europe and Israel, for example, businesses refer to military time. Time zones are another wake-up call. For me to call my parents in California, I have to count 10 hours backwards. "It can be confusing to organize an online meeting with colleagues in America. I have to continuously calculate the hours between us, always keeping in mind daylight savings time," Mr. Quist says from Thailand.
7. On the roadIn America, most drivers respect the rules of the road, yielding to other drivers and allowing pedestrians to cross streets. In Israel, drivers are impatient, screaming and making frantic hand motions and honking seconds before the traffic light, which turns red-to-yellow-to-green. During my 20-minute commute to Tel Aviv, I sometimes feel like a Mario Kart racer, my head swiveling side to side.
In many parts of the world, roundabouts are commonly used in lieu of lights. They don't bother me, but Ms. O'Grady in Mexico finds glorietas daunting. "The perplexing traffic circles serve as an intersection for oncoming vehicles from all different directions, often converging at the same time. If you aren't careful, you might get stuck, going around and around, like on a merry-go-round, feverishly trying to calculate the right moment to jump off and get out."
Mr. Quist describes Bangkok as a labyrinth. "There are streets with multiple names, roads that have moved, and pavements dead-ended by twisting canals and a river. When I stand on a curb to catch a taxi, I'm preparing and revising mental scripts to recite to the driver, sorting through the language I've accumulated to help get me where I need to go. Wherever I go, I keep my eyes open, focused on what's in front of me, scanning unfamiliar parts of the city, taking in the beauty of glittering temples, witnessing new customs, deciphering characters on street signs, staying alert to angry stray dogs and motorbikes speeding in my direction."
8. Safety and lawsIn Israel, people ride public transportation freely and walk with confidence because streets are safe despite the occasional spate of violence. Young men and women-18-, 19-, 20-year-olds-dressed in Israel Defense Forces uniforms and carrying guns reassure civilians. Police men and women help. Security guards open the trunks when cars enter a parking garage - which at first was surprising and is now oddly comforting to me. Everyone remains vigilant about suspicious objects, unattended luggage, and people overly dressed in bulky clothes on hot days.
"Although Thailand is one of the more relaxed and progressive countries in Southeast Asia, there are many revered institutions in the Kingdom of Thailand. Everyone must think carefully about what they say or, in my case, write. Censorship is common, and defamation laws, extensive," says Mr. Quist. "Thailand is called Land of a Thousand Smiles, and I've seen people smile in fear of offending the wrong person. Since I'm an outsider, it's important I exercise a kind of self-censorship, to suppress urges to make generalizations or disparage customs I don't understand. In general, I speak less and listen more."
9. Politics and historical contextForeigners often poke fun at America's two-party system, unable to distinguish between Republicans and Democrats. But it goes both ways. There are so many political parties and platforms in Israel, I feel overwhelmed. The system is based on proportional representation, which enables a multi-party system with numerous parties represented in the 120-seat Knesset. All this requires the formation of coalitions, which can be dissolved about as fast as they can be formed. Which is why new elections happen more often than they probably should.
"I've never understood the French regional and departmental system well enough. It's so intricate," Ms. Lajer says. "Because I never learned it the way the natives did and am an outsider, I vote in the presidential and sometimes mayoral elections."
In Israel, my daily life is affected by and embedded in the greater historical context: a never-ending fight over land with our neighbors, random acts of terror, wars that make front-page headlines all over the world. Sometimes it feels like a heavy load to carry.
Ms. Ford agrees: "Living in London, I felt as if I were learning history that had never been taught in American schools and living amongst that history with people whose memory of the Blitz (during the second World War), for example, is still strong. And then we lived current history. The IRA and terrorist bombings in London were eye-openers, as well as the Brits' stiff upper lips during those periods. Unlike Americans, the Londoners had been living on a slight edge for decades, yet we noticed it gave them a clear perspective on their everyday lives."'
10. Dress codesMr. Quist says he's wary of wearing particular colors because of recent political conflicts in Thailand. "Thai citizens can interpret the pigment of my shirt as subversion. Red shirts are commonly associated with the United Front for Democracy Against Dictatorship; yellow shirts are often tied to the People's Alliance for Democracy. But yellow is also the color of the King. On some holidays, particularly his birthday week, it's ritual to wear it. Other colors like blue, purple, orange, black and white, all hold great cultural significance."
Katharina Finke, 30, has spent her adult life living like a local all over the world while corresponding for television, print and online media. Most recently, the German-born correspondent immersed herself in India's culture. There, she said, she thinks before getting dressed every day. "I always cover my shoulders and legs so as not to be considered loose, and I wear baggy, dark clothes to hide my figure and female features," says Ms. Finke. In the beginning, she wore long shirts and skirts but now dons shalwar kameez, the traditional wide trousers and long, tunic shirt. Sometimes she covers her hair since it's blonde and stands out. "The dress code varies from countryside to city and from North to South, cities like Chennai, Cochin and Bangalore being more liberal. But even in Mumbai, which is probably the most westernized city in India, I feel more comfortable wearing shalwar kameez than anything else," she says.
American-born, French-by-marriage and Israeli-by-choice, Jennifer Lang has spent the past three decades jumping between those three countries. Now living in Israel, Jennifer previously wrote '10 Things I Wish I'd Known Before Moving to Israel' and 'An Outsider Peering In': An Expat Reflects on Israel's Memorial and Independence Days. She blogs at opentoisrael.com.